The Rules

Last week, my wife and I took in a regional theater company's performance of Hair, the 60s hippie musical. I have a special spot in my soul for that show, having seen the movie version as a young teen, having worn the soundtrack out (on vinyl, of course) across the ensuing years, and having had a “moment” with the actor playing Berger at Broadway revival in 2009. Buy me a beer and I’ll tell you the story.

In seeing this show, I continued to fulfill a resolution I made after the COVID lockdown: to see more live music and entertainment.

That resolution started out strongly enough. Eleven shows in 2022 far exceeded my average of 3-4 per year or my max of about half a dozen, but momentum took over, and I doubled that tally in 2023. It became a "thing" along the way, and reconnected me with one of my best friends, who prior to this I'd only see 3-4x a year, and who is now my main cohort in show-going. Last year, things got serious, and I took in fifty-two shows. I may challenge that record this year, having already seen twenty-six (I'll save you the math - Hair was show #111), and with twenty-one more already on the calendar.

This hobby, for it certainly rises to that level, has brought me new friends, new experiences, new stories to share, plenty of skingasms, and a long string of happy times. It has introduced me to new music, rekindled my interest in old classics, and fulfilled various "itches" (including my penchant for list-making), the thrill of trying to score front-row tickets in the smaller venues (I've found I much prefer them to the big arenas), and many conversations about music, what to see, who to look out for, and on and on. The Internet, via Bandsintown.com and band/venue mailing lists, has been a boon.

Among those itches is record-keeping. My friend and I both have the "list" gene, and we track the shows we got to. Some of you will understand this, and those that do also understand that lists require rules. To make the list, I have to have purchased a ticket with intent. So, bar bands don't make the list. I note who I saw the show with, but only the people I planned to see the show with and sat with. If I run into a friend at the show, sorry, doesn't make the list.

Those are my rules.

Also part of the fun are our "battle jackets." Here's mine:

For a band's patch to earn a spot, I have to have seen the band live. But, not all bands I've seen live earn a spot.

Those are my rules.

Here’s my friend’s:

My friend sets his own rules, as does anyone who wears one. And no one gets to judge or reject them. Battle jackets are personal expression, and no one has any business critiquing anyone else's choices.

I don't know how long my live music pursuit will last. I expect it'll go on as long as I can physically handle it (already, I have to think twice about going to long general admission shows, because standing for five hours is for the younger folks), but if at some point in time I feel it change from pleasure to chore, I won't have any hesitation in slowing down, or pausing, or stopping, and finding something else that makes me happy.

Because I make the rules of my life.

I choose how to live. I decide what fulfills me and what gives my life meaning. I don't need anyone else to tell me whether my life has meaning, or what that meaning should be, or to deny my pursuit of happiness on my terms.

I also reject those who insist that my life has no meaning absent some dictated and externalized "higher purpose."

That assertion has come at me from people arguing religion at me, and it has come at me from those who put “society” ahead of the individual. Not content to set the rules of their own lives, they seek to set rules for everyone else. In some cases by scolding or shaming or belittling, and in other cases by writing laws.

The funny thing about this? I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that I am a happier person than many of those folks. Spending energy and effort on telling others how to live - nay, how to feel about the lives they live - is a recipe for disappointment, failure, and misery. Worse, bending people to your will, whether it be "soft coercion" or legal mandate, is immoral. No matter how good your intentions, no matter how noble your purpose, and no matter how certain you are that yours is the better way.

Life is short, and it gets shorter every day for each of us. Yes, this is me suggesting carpe diem. Seize the day. I won’t tell you to live as I do, and I won’t tell you what you should do or believe. All I will tell you is to find your own way. Find the things that make you happy, and remember - you get to set the rules for how you live your life.

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A special shout out to the band Lez Zeppelin, which has become a focal point for my live music endeavor. I first saw them in April 2024, and they were, and are to this day, a revelation. Unlike the other Led Zeppelin cover/tribute bands I’ve seen, they play the Page-Plant-Jones-Bonham masterpieces “live,” as the original band did. Page famously never played his guitar solos the same way twice, making each show unique in its own way. This is why I’ve seen them nineteen times in the past twenty-six months, and will see them (at least) ten more times between now and November. If you see them playing in your area, and you like Led Zeppelin, go catch one of their shows. I promise you’ll have a great time.